Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Deviant Member K. Hebert31/Female/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 10 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 566 Deviations 11,471 Comments 24,541 Pageviews

Newest Deviations



Well, my birthday came and went and 31 feels good. ^^
My 31st birthday is in 9 days. I do not know how to feel about this. XD
Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: strong language)
Insults. That's all I ever hear from that bastard. Pokes. Jabs. Things that make me want to tear his hair out. How annoyingly simple are his words that make me want to take him out to the back of a woodshed and make all that gray matter leak out the hole I am willing to place there. I want his life force to ebb slowly as the heel of my shoe grinds his voice box to nothing. Even with my wish for his slow and painstaking death at my hands, I simply couldn't do that to another breathing being. It just isn't in my being. I can't bring myself to do that sort of bodily harm. As it is, I've withstood years of taunts from people with less intelligence than myself and I've dreamed of doing harm to them as well. With them, I actually came to a decision to annihilate them academically. It worked, but it didn't help my self-esteem over much.

Now that I'm much older, I've learned to hide when I'm feeling depressive. Even when I have days like this, where everything that he says to me is bullshit, I've learned to make it look like my life is perfect. From the outside, anyway. My heart has always been a battlefield of emotions I've tried my entire life to control. Sometimes I succeed. Sometimes, like today, they run away with me. I constantly want to scream, throw things...Whatever makes my head feel less like exploding and picks my heart up out of my shoes. I slam the door, leaving him still spitting venom to a now empty room. I made my way out of our house, out of our yard and began to walk down the street. It was dark but I don't care, I have to get away from it. From it all.

If I go back now, I will kill him. I'm boiling. I've finally had enough. Of everything. My head is screaming and my blood is scalding in my veins. My feet are pounding the pavement, shoes making a rampant staccato under me. My eyes are streaming with burning tears and I have no idea why. Why should I care? He's a dick and I want him dead. Why am I crying? My legs are beginning to tire on me, my knees not loving the idea of my constant heavy steps in the wrong direction of my home. I can hear my joints creak as I walk, and my feet are altogether unhappy in my current lack of correct footwear. I need to turn around, his life be damned. I need to sit. I need to rest or I won't be worth shit in the morning. So what do I do? Turn the hell around and go home.
    Her new tattoo started to itch again. She applied the salve to it and sighed. Pushing her short-ish hair behind her ears, the only other thing on her mind was getting something in her now complaining stomach. Slipping on her slides, she shuffled to the door. When she took her home sewn coat from the hook behind it, she felt the dead weight of her keyring in the right pocket. Locking up, she began to traipse outside where the slight chill made her arms raise with goose pimples. Regardless of her covering, she had to say she was unavoidably in need of warmth. She told herself that would be the reason she filled her flask when she returned home later on.
    Crossing the street, the clearest object in her field of vision was the gaudy neon sign for the TexMex Chinese place she frequented.That night, however, she wasn't in the mood for burrito eggrolls. Besides that, it felt like a good night to wander around. When her wanderlust started to make her itch like this, playing at her this urgently, she didn't dare fight it. She could vividly remember trying to fight the feeling that last time around. She didn't think her relatively lightened wallet could handle another surprise trip out to the Nevada desert in the middle of the night just to see what was out there. Even though her parents paid her way out here, she tried not to overdo their generosity. She always ended up feeling that her punishments received for overextending their nicety should have veered towards the more extreme measures, but her parental units always mollified her and tried to soother her with an "It's okay." Either way, she was trying to curb her spending in her own way, and allowing her feelings to run completely amok was not going to make that task any easier.
    Before she was aware of her surroundings, something told her to stop and look around. When she lifted her eyes, she was taken in by all of the new sights and sounds of this previously unexplored area of her city. Perhaps wandering wouldn't harm her, just this once. The streets were smoother on her shoes. They didn't make their characteristic scratching slide she had become accustomed to. Light was softer, it seemed, and the buildings began to blur into each other after a time. She could feel her body and soul slipping into an overly familiar set of actions, the self same actions she had originally set out to avoid. If self-honesty was important to her at this point, it all felt a tad different for once. This time was less like sleepwalking and more like walking quickly through animation that slowing down. Only her surroundings were creeping by as she was moving at the same rate. Her mouth curled into an easy smile. She felt good. This felt right to her. A bit longer wouldn't be detrimental to her progress... At least she fervently hoped it wouldn't.
    The smells in the air shifted to roses and night blooming jasmine. The effect was pleasant. So pleasant that, momentarily, she paused in her movements, closed her eyes and savored the experience. Pictures came to her mind that made her joyous - her mother's expansive mansion gardens, lit up like a fairy story and numerous other things that had made her happy as a child. As her eyes slid open, her feet moved by themselves again. She determined that if she was dreaming, she was certain it was no nightmare. Her body felt energized and her essence was blessedly calm. All of the years her parents had paid for therapy had been a waste of resources. She surmised that giving in to her baser desires sporadically could only serve to be beneficial. Well-being was self care after all, and keeping anything at bay long enough ensured that the breaking point would grow nearer quite quickly. As soon as her journey was over, she decided that calling her mother to set up a real visit would be wonderful for them all. It had been far too long for all of them and nostalgia was setting in.
    Brightness prevailed as she walked, it seemed. This wandering was nothing like the trips she'd encountered in her teenage rebellious phases. PCP made her eyes feel like they were peeled and shoved back into her head. Mary Jane made her lethargic and nervous. This experience was nothing like those. This felt like the air was built from warm cushions and her body mass was a duct. Nicotene intervened shortly, needling her to imbibe. She didn't want this understanding to fade just yet, so she refused to break the spell. Her mind was conversing with multiple essences, suddenly, and she didn't care how long these conversations would continue. This was the best thing she had observed in so long that none of it scared her. Being lucid was the best drug of all, it seemed. Even if she lived another thirty years, her doubt was that her life would ever venture this way again. Feasibly, she should end this actuality soon. If only to protect herself from overexerting whatever power that she had tapped into, it had to end. She did not wish to lose her essence among all those she had encountered this evening.
    So, she stopped. She simply stopped. Stopped walking. Stopped thinking. Standing unalterably still, she waited for the world to relax back into its normal rotation. Blinking lightly, she looked around to see where she had ended up. It was a Bulgarian restaurant that she'd never noticed before. Shaking her head of long black hair, she noticed the name of the establishment. Mechtateli. Instinctively, she ciphered the word's meaning to be "Dreamers." A place with such an auspicious name had to be worth a try. After her meal, she made up her mind to document her peregrination. It had been unforgettable, but authentication made the whole thing seem more tangible. More tangible than anything she would ever stumble upon again, for sure.
Some Kinds of Feeling
I wrote this while half asleep and typed it after I woke up a bit. Hope you enjoy it!

This is my new project. Random comic strips. XD

Hope you read and like them!
  • Mood: Pirate
  • Listening to: Self Esteem - The Offspring
  • Reading: Son of a Witch
  • Watching: Bollywood later
  • Playing: Aerena.
  • Eating: Had burgers.
  • Drinking: Pink Lemonda


K. Hebert
United States
I'm 30 and my brain and soul are older than that. Wanna know anything you don't already? Ask. I'm friendly enough to answer ^^

Current Residence: Kaplan, La
Favourite genre of music: Pirate songs and sea shanties. Yarr.
Favourite photographer: Peskaa, that sweetheart. ^_^
Favourite style of art: I like digital, anime, and other hand drawn types.
Operating System: Windows 7
MP3 player of choice: I have RealPlayer and though it can be bitchy, I love it.
Shell of choice: Shells? I like puka shells the bestest. They're pretty.
Wallpaper of choice: My favorite is a little Grim Reaper pointing up at your icons saying "Get rid of that junk."
Skin of choice: My own. No matter how much I mar it.
Favourite cartoon character: Gir, Gaz, All my bishies...Lupin III, Spike Spiegel...guys like that.And FOAMY!!!!
Personal Quote: "I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell..." - Matchbox 20

AdCast - Ads from the Community


Add a Comment:
Phantagrafie Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Professional General Artist
Thanks for faving! :)
Earthdawn: Legend by Phantagrafie
DarkGoddessK Featured By Owner 1 day ago
You are so welcome. That thing was boss!
WyldAngel-dolls Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
Thanks for always being there even when I'm being absentee-ish. You're always in my thoughts and heart. :hug:
DarkGoddessK Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2015
^_^ Thank you for being there for me when I need. I love you both and I really love that we know each other!
TheBlackNova Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2015
Happy Birthday!
DarkGoddessK Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2015
TheBlackNova Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2015
DarkGoddessK Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2015
WyldAngel Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2015
DarkGoddessK Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2015
Add a Comment: